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Oregon DUI Attorney: A Force Of Nature

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My mother is an Oregon DUI Attorney and she terrifies me. Not because she is a lawyer, but because she is a force of nature. She is the loudest, brashest, most cunning woman I have ever met. Her nails are long and black. She reads novels by Camus and Sartre for fun.

If you met her, you would be surprised she is an Oregon DUI Attorney because she looks more like a prophetess or a philosopher. Also, she drinks more than anyone I've ever met.

When I was younger, she forbade me to even think of Barbie dolls. One night, when I asked if we could go to MacDonalds, she almost started to cry.

Yes, even though she is an Oregon DUI Attorney, my mother likes to think she lives outside the system. "The only ones for me are the mad ones," she would whisper to me before I went to bed.

At school, I tried to act mad by speaking in dark aphorisms and drinking absinthe at parties, but my strained attempt to be weird made me popular (much to my mother's disappointment).

Years later, I was disappointed by that mad Oregon DUI Attorney when I discovered she had pilfered the phrase from Jack Kerouac. I don't like unreferenced allusions creeping into everyday conversation.

When I was growing up, my mother mostly hung around with other people in the law, and other times she hung out with Ned, another Oregon DUI Attorney. I never met my father, but I like to think he was nothing like Ned.

Ned was a simpering man with bad breath and a perpetually running nose. His only link to my mother was that he was also a self-deprecating Oregon DUI Attorney.

This link, however tenuous, somehow formed the basis of their short-lived marriage. At first, I hated Ned and his obsession with cars and golf, but eventually I just felt sorry for him; I knew my mother, that irascible Oregon DUI Attorney, would eat him alive. Ned didn't stand a chance. The marriage lasted a year.

My mother always warned me not to become an Oregon DUI Attorney. If she had her way, I would have become a tortured artist or, even better, a truck driver. She looked at me askance when I told her I was going to the University of Oregon law school. "Another wasted life," she cried, "a family cursed to become an endless line of Oregon DUI Attorneys."

For the first few years I liked my job. The repetition and the paperwork calmed me, made sense to me. When I turned forty and had a daughter of my own, however, I suddenly wanted to paint my nails black, grow my hair long, and seethe with existential angst.

Certainly, I no longer wanted to be an Oregon DUI Attorney. I fear for my daughter. This curse rattles in our bones. She is destined to be an attorney, and I am too weak to stop her.


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